Fighting to Reach Home
by Cyllwen
Summary: He sat down and he wrote notes, musical notes. An interwining harmony and melody that told his story. Notes he would never be able to play properly but he wrote them anyway. One-shot RR


Only Alpha read. My beta is on a caffine high and is busy raising an army of evil. One-shot

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"Come one McKay! You got to stay with me." McKay heard the Major's worried voice but he couldn't respond. It sounded very far away and rather unimportant at the moment. Sheppard was always worried about something but right now Rodney was in pain and wasn't in the mood for a lecture so he just floated on a think layer of sleep. He drifted for what felt like forever when he suddenly stopped. He looked around and saw that it was pith black and that he was alone.

"Not so alone as you might think Rodney." The voice was behind him so he turned to find its source. It was a woman or maybe a girl. He couldn't tell her age. She looked young but her eyes spoke of eons of existence. They also looked slightly haunted. They didn't seem to have a color either every time he looked into them he saw the stars. He took a moment to look at the rest of her as well. Her hair was black but streaked with purple and green highlight instead of the usually blue. She was tall and slender with skin about the same color as Teyla's, a nutmeg like color. She was wearing a pair of black jeans and a black top. On top of that she had a trench coat on, also black. He must have been staring because she gave him a disapproving look and pointed at a boat that floated on the inky blackness. He didn't move.

"Who are you?"

"Surely you figured that out by now."

"You are right it was a dumb question."

"Yes and before you ask you are not dead. Not quiet yet anyway and I am not the ghost of Christmas past or anything but I guess I might serve a similar purpose. I am an ascended and I am here to atone for a crime I committed. I must stay here in this place between life and death and allow a person to talk with one person before they either die or ascend. I am allowed to assist with the latter if you so choose."

"Die or ascend? Those are our only choices?" He didn't believe this. How the heck would he be dying?

"So who do you choose?" HE stood there for a moment and sighed. He knew there wasn't that many people who would care if he lived or died but there was one he wanted to see again.

"Her name is Samantha Carter and she lives on earth."

"So be it." The world around them faded.

It took them a moment and eternity to travel to earth. Then he found himself in the briefing room of the SGC and in the second seat to the right she sat. He looked up to see the woman standing there.

"How long?"

"You have three days before I come and get you." With that she disappeared and left him alone. He waited until she got home before he showed himself. She had just stuck her head in the fridge when he spoke to her.

"Sam?" She stood up hitting her head on the fridge shelf but she didn't let the pain stop her from twirling around. She opened her mouth in a silent scream. He stood there letting her take it all in.

"You are at Atlantis."

"Physically. Well I could be dead by now, she really didn't explain how this worked."

"What?"

"Never mind it isn't important. Nice dress by the way." She looked down at her blue polo shirt dress in shock.

"You are really here." He put his hand inside the fridge to prove his point.

"No I am not. I am only here in spirit. I think that is how I should put it." She looked like she was going to fall over. He couldn't help himself. He chuckled and it turned into a laugh and he didn't stop laughing. It was hysterical and maniacal he knew but it felt good to laugh. It had been a long time since he had had the chance. If he had been breathing he would have stopped by the time he had finished. Sam didn't know how to take the crazy laughing 'spirit' in front of her so she didn't the only thing she could. She passed out.

Sam slowly awoke. She couldn't remember how she had ended up on the floor. She opened her eyes to see Jack standing over her.

"Sir? Why are you here?" He was frowning and in his civilian clothing she couldn't help but think how cute he looked.

"Someone hit the panic on your burglar alarm. When we arrived no one was here and you were on the floor. What happened?"

"I don't know Sir. I was looking for dinner then I heard a voice. That is the last thing I remember."

"Nice to know that I am so memorable." She looked past Jack to see McKay. She groaned.

"Sir is there someone behind you?"

"No. Why?"

"I need a doctor and possible a shrink because I could swear that Rodney McKay is standing right behind you."

"I will go get the car. We are getting you back to the mountain." Sam just stared at Rodney.

"He can't see me Sam. You are the only one allowed to."

"Why are you here?"

"I just told you Carter."

"No not you sir."

" I am dying and the black lady told me I could have three days to talk to someone. I chose you. I trust you to let people know what they need to know."

"What happened?"

"I don't know Carter. I am trying…"

"Not you sir."

"It is kinda fuzzy."

"It is kinda fuzzy?"

"I think I jumped in front of a bullet."

"Why the heck would you do that?"

"Because you are hallucinating!" Jack had been dialing the base for a medical team.

"Not you sir."

"I think it was aimed at Teyla or maybe it was Sheppard. I don't really remember. I told them not to let anyone invite them for dinner. They never listen!" Rodney threw his hands up in the air and started to pace. He looked agitated but then so did Jack.

"Did you throw the alarm?"

"No."

"Not you sir."

"Oh course I did. Couldn't leave you lying on the floor."

"You have changed."

"So Gall told me."

"Gall?"

"Never mind."

"Carter you are scaring me"

"Sorry sir but I am talking to Rodney."

"McKay is in another galaxy."

"He died and some lady is letting him talk to someone for three days."

"He died? How could he have died? A lab experiment?"

"Actually it was a field mission."

"He was one a field mission sir and he took a bullet for someone."

"They let him on the field?"

"Of course they did! I am the most intelligent person on the base not to mention the only one who can decipher ancient!"

"I think you offended him sir."

"Carter if he is dead how could I offend him?"

"He can hear you sir." Sam looked at Rodney again he looked defeated and a little scared. She was surprised at the changed in him. He was in good shape and a handgun was strapped to his hip while a p90 sat in his hand. They looked like they belonged. He must have been used to them indeed to carry them into his death. His still had his uniform on too. She looked some more and saw that the lower portion of the jacket was covered with blood from a still bleeding wound in his abdomen. She let out a gasp and buried her face in Jack's jacket. When she looked up again Rodney was gone.

She didn't see him again until she reached the infirmary. He wasn't wearing the uniform now but instead civilian clothing but the two weapons remained. She couldn't tell if the wound remained because a heavy jacket covered it. He looked very sad and for a moment didn't say a thing.

"I am going to make this quick Sam. I can tell this is upsetting you."

"No. Stay for a while and tell me about Atlantis. I want to know what it is like. The messages you sent didn't say much." He started to talk. He described everything in detail never rushing or skipping over anything. He told her about his team and about the city and about each gadget. When the doctor came to check on her about an hour later he was still talking and the hour after that and for several hours after that. Rodney had told her a great deal but still hadn't told her what he had come to tell her.

"Rodney?"

"Yah?" He had thought that she had fallen asleep a while ago.

"Why me?"

"I need to tell someone who would care. I needed to tell someone that I wouldn't loose my nerve talking too. I need someone who wasn't mourning me."

"I see. You didn't think I would mourn you?"

"You have better things to do Sam."

"I see. What did you come here to tell me?"

"I have three more days Sam. I have more to tell you about Atlantis."

"Okay."

"First you need to get some sleep. I will be back in the morning." She yawned realizing that he was right.

"Goodnight Rodney."

"Goodnight Sam." She slept and dreamed of a city that floated on the water and Rodney watched her sleep for a while but he got bored and started to roam the halls. He had discovered back at the house that he could touch things if he concentrated. He had a bit of fun with that but it wasn't long before he was depressed again.

Somehow he found himself in Daniel Jackson's lab he had no clue why he was there but it was as good of place as ever. There lying on the desk was a notebook and a pen. Concentrating he picked both up and then borrowed a stool and began to write. He didn't write a letter or anything like that. He wrote words and notes, musical notes. He expressed his life in those notes creating a melody that he would never be able to play right but he wrote them with all his soul. He made two copies of the rolling melody and harmony, it just seemed right to write it in four parts, and headed back to the room where Sam was.

Sam had just awoken when he got back. He didn't waste anytime.

"Sam?"

"Hey."

"Sam I want to tell you something then I have to leave."

"Go where? You said you had two days left."

"You wouldn't understand if I told you. Sam….I want you to tell the team when they get home that I miss them. I want you to tell Weir that it was an honor arguing with her about everything. Tell Ford that I enjoyed his company even if he is a naïve little kid playing soldier. Tell Teyla that I had really wanted to finish those fighting lessons that we started. Tell Sheppard that he had been the best friend that I ever had and tell the scientists that I am not as smart as I pretend to be. And tell my team that…that I was quite fond of them and I am sorry for all the trouble I caused. Sam, tell yourself that it is okay to cry." As he said these things he started to fade away and by the time he had finished he was little more than a shadow. Then he was gone leaving her alone holding a piece of paper with notes written all over it. She just stood there in shock.

Rodney on the other hand was back in the dark place where he had begun this journey.

"Where are you?" He shouted. The woman appeared and looked at him."

"You had more time."

"I want to go back to Atlantis."

"You could only have one person I told you."

"No I want to go back and I want to live."

"There is no way you can survive. That is why I took you."

"You didn't give me a chance. I want to return me to the time you took me and let me fight."

"But…"

"NO! I want to go."

"I can take you to the time I took you but I am not allowed to return you to your body."

"No. I am not taking that as an answer."

"There might be something I could do. Follow me." He did though time and space he followed her until they reached a few moments before Rodney had been taken. He remembered now. It left a bitter taste in his mouth to remember. He had been really stupid.

He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before and he hadn't eaten in a while. His sugar wasn't low enough to cause problems but it was low enough to make him cranky. The planet they had ended up on was supposed to be uninhabited but it was really wet and rainy. It wasn't just a light spring rain but a heavy cold downpour. It didn't do anything to improve his mood. He had started to snap at everyone, not just Sheppard. They ignored him even though he could tell some of his barbs struck home.

"Will you just shut up McKay? I have never met a more cold-hearted person. You would do anything to save your own skin. NO one else means anything to you in fact you would probably watch one of us die just to save your own skin" The Major had had enough. Rodney had stopped listening to him at that point but he still remembered it. By the time John got to the good hurtful stuff Rodney had spotted the sniper. On another day he would have been the last to see him but everyone else was angry and McKay was trying to ignore the oh so true yet hurtful things that were coming out of his commanders mouth. In his minds eye and well as with his own eyes he watched what happened next. The sniper aimed and McKay moved. He pushed John to the side and felt the pain blossom in his back. He was back in his own body and the woman was gone.

"Come one McKay! You got to stay with me." John was kneeling by his side trying to keep him awake. This time McKay struggled against the darkness and kept his eyes open. He managed to force out a few words.

"You are a good soldier Major. A darn good soldier. I am sorry." He couldn't force anything else out. Ford rolled him on to his back and began to examine the wound. He couldn't make out much after that but he knew that it wasn't good. He blacked out and a crumpled piece of paper fell out of his hand. Teyla caught it and put it in her pocket.

The darkness didn't take him away this time. He stayed put in the realm of the living and in the realm of pain.

Sheppard stood in the infirmary watching the prone form that lay on the bed. He just didn't get it. One minute he had been snapping at everyone and John had been telling him off then the next minute Rodney had stepped in from of a bullet for him. It didn't make much sense. He of all people knew that there was more to Rodney than what meets the eye but John had never expected that Rodney would do something like this. There was not thought involved. His reaction, his instinct had been to save his teammates.

"He is a good solider." He turned and saw a woman that he didn't recognize. She must be a nurse or a scientist.

"He isn't a solider."

"By title no but I his heart he has become a solider. Or perhaps warrior is a better word."

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"No? His posture is that of one used to careering a pack and a gun. He is always on edge and on alert. His first instinct is to shoot whatever is moving and to protect those around him. He makes calculations on who he can save even if it isn't the nice or popular thing to do. He values his team and his commander and considers them his closest friends. If that isn't a solider I don't know what is."

"What are you talking about?"

"You will find out in time. He should be dead now major. Beckett told you he shouldn't have survived the trip back and he shouldn't have been alive an hour after you brought him back or the hour after that. He is only now reaching a stable condition and it has been three days. The only thing keeping him alive is that fact that he doesn't want to leave this place. He wants to stay and be shot at by locals and poisoned by darts. He wants to stay up late and dream of a home he never really had. He likes to barb you and Ford. He is staying because he wants to, there is no other reason for that. He is staying because he thinks that you are doing him some good. He is staying because you are his family. He told his sister that on the messages that he sent home. He called you his family. Bear with him major, you have no clue how close you came to loosing him. I had to break a lot of rules to return him to you." Sheppard swung around to see that the nurse was glowing.

"You're a…"

"Yes and you have a good friend there major. He found his way back to you. Don't let him go." With that she was gone. He didn't have much time to think because the moment that she disappeared, Rodney woke up.

"Hi John" Rodney's voice was low and sounded really tired.

"Hey. How you feeling?"

"Like I got shot in the back by a sniper."

"You know that there is a really funny reason that you feel that way."

"Oh an that would be?"

"You got shot in the back by a sniper."

"Wouldn't have guess."

"Why?'

"Why what?"

"You took a bullet for me. Why?"

"I don't really know. Next time I will think about it first but next time you're a goner."

"I will keep that in mind. Rodney why did you have a piano piece in your hand?"

"I thought I lost that." Rodney closed his eyes and John could tell that he had fallen asleep. He would ask him later.

Finis


End file.
